A mother’s perspective on working in emergency medicine

It’s safe to say that we all have different dreams about what we would like our lives to look like, relating to the many different spheres of life – whether personal or professional. It can be tricky to envision these dreams converging, especially when one of them involves excelling in a tricky and dynamic field like medicine.

“I provide an example to my daughters that women can do fulfilling and complex work roles – and be a dedicated primary parent at the same time. ”

But for me, working as an emergency clinician while parenting three children proved that these dreams are not mutually exclusive. I provide an example to my daughters that women can do fulfilling and complex work roles – and be a dedicated primary parent at the same time. 

Having children was a priority I put above finishing the training program, or having a career. Luckily, I've never had to choose between the two. I have heard comments about not being able to do positions because of FTE or motherhood, but when I look at all the emergency physicians I know, who are also in leadership roles, I believe it is very possible to do both.

I’ve been married to my husband for 19 years, and we have three girls aged from 11 to 15. When I transitioned back into the workplace after having the girls, it was daunting. I never knew how much sleep I would get, or how my baby would be after I left – it varied from totally fine to crying all night.

I had good support from my consultant colleagues. They were mostly parents themselves, and there were a few others who were new mums, too (hi, Jane and Anna!). 

As a clinician, I understand a worried parent's perspective more now that I am a parent. I know when I'm on the other side as the parent of the patient, the fear of the worst-case scenario is all consuming, and it’s only natural that you will seek out the best care possible for your child.

I now know that even relatively medically straight-forward presentations, such as miscarriages, febrile infants and limb fractures, can bring with them a host of emotions and trying experiences.

“We often put ourselves last as mothers, but the family unit will function best when the parents are happy, fulfilled and have breaks from work and child-rearing.”

As a parent, there are challenges and hurdles to working in emergency medicine – but these can be overcome.

The juggle of childcare and children's needs versus urgent work matters can be stressful. There are pulls in both directions most weeks. Do I do a 10-hour shift on my daughter's birthday?  Do I use annual leave to attend her tennis competition, or save it for a family holiday?  What do I do when a work shift clashes with coaching her basketball team in the final? While there are hardships – my poor Mum has slept on the couch more than once when I'm on-call in case of a call – every work pattern has its pros. 

Shift work can work well with family life. When children are young, late shifts can give you more daytime with babies and toddlers, and weekend shifts can mean more weekdays with the children, and less need for paid childcare. The ability to move shifts around to maximise holiday time is useful no matter what stage of life you are at. 

I also believe that furthering our medical education is possible with children. I've attended conferences with babies since the 2000s, and most have been accommodating. Facilities have improved out of sight since then and it’s heartening to me to continue to see baby-wearing parents in the audience at every ACEM event.  I view conferences as part of a wellbeing strategy for us, especially those that involve travel to great places with colleagues who are now close friends. Now that there are online options, it’s even easier to fit education around parenthood. 

We often put ourselves last as mothers, but the family unit will function best when the parents are happy, fulfilled and have breaks from work and child-rearing. All members of the family need to share the load to ensure a functioning family unit, and this includes children once they are old enough.

“There is no perfect time in a career to have children, so do it once you are ready. ”

External support such as nannies has always been vital for our family, as well as support from friends and family. Outsource the less enjoyable household work, so you don't spend days off doing too many chores. Reach out to your supporters, and if they can't help, reach out further to others like AWE (Advancing Women in Emergency) and AFMW (Australia Federation of Medical Women). 

There is no perfect time in a career to have children, so do it once you are ready. While it seems daunting, it's now a well-trodden path. Plenty of people in emergency medicine take months off for travel, alternative work, career break, illnesses. Parental leave is just another reason, and it adds to the rich tapestry of our speciality.  

This is part of a series of articles exploring parenting and emergency medicine. ACEM's Statement on Parenting in Emergency Medicine was released in January 2023, and aims to promote wellbeing and career sustainability for ACEM members and trainees with parenting and caring responsibilities.